I enjoy a routine. It takes some work for me to “think outside the box”. I like normalcy, don’t crave drama or excitement day in and day out. I love my life – predictable, average. It may appear boring to some people, but I wouldn’t want it any other way.
When these daily hum-drum’s get disrupted, I have a tendency to get bit overwhelmed. And I have gotten better at coping with my anxiety attacks, but I still feel a definite strain.
Recently, things have been in kinda a state of general upheaval. Michael is experiencing some things at work (that I feel more comfortable talking about once things are more concrete), Lauren and Madeline both have stinkin’ pink eye (which throws my general schedule off because I need to keep them away from other children if at all possible) and Kate… Kate has some stuff going on herself. I will say this about her stuff – we could use all the prayers we can get – I’m taking her in for additional blood work on Monday.
How does that saying go? The only thing constant is change. Is that right? Because that’s sure how I’m feeling right now.
In thinking about all of it today, I found myself questioning “why everything all at once”? At times I wonder why I feel pushed to my limits. What lesson is to be learned in chaos, discontent and confusion?
I know I’m feeling stronger. I’m feeling more in control than I would’ve a year ago, or even 6 months ago, facing these things. Why?
There are things beyond my control. Things that a few years ago, dealing with, I would’ve been distraught leaving up to “fate”. What has changed?
Hurry up and wait. Ugh! Used to make me absolutely crazy!
And the old “things will happen exactly the way they’re supposed to…” used to drive me totally up a wall! I know it’s true now though. Know it beyond any shadow of a doubt.
What’s the common denominator? C’mon people. God. Of course, God!
He has His hand on all of this. No decisions will be made concerning our future without prayer. (my how things have changed…)
And maybe everything is happening at once so that I can really learn to depend on Him.
Blessings
321. The ability to cope
322. Accepting me, the way I am, anxiety and all
323. Allowing myself to show real emotion
324. Friends reaching out in prayer
325. A long last night, with not much sleep, but hours of cuddling with my MJ.
326. New adventures on the horizon
327. Trusting in Him
328. Prayers
329. My church family
330. Visitors this weekend
Praying for you ! :)
ReplyDeleteI couldn't agree more that all these things happen at once some times so you can learn to depend on God. But even more than that, God doesn't spare us from the fallen world lest we forget what He saved us from. There are times when the world can feel literally like "Hell on Earth" and that isn't even a taste for what real Hell will be, given that God's presence will be completely removed. Even now, when trials come, God is richly holding us...but in Hell, God will not be there.
ReplyDeleteIf God spared us from trials, we in simple human minds could forget exactly what He saved us from for all eternity. (I've been working on a blog post about this : )
I love you girl! Praying for you!! And little Miss Kate!!
Upon visiting with my lovely daughter and her beautiful lil' family, I had time to reflect during my drive home. We serve an Awesome God who works thru people on a regular basis. I have come to appreciate and adore the changes taking place in her life which affect me in so many ways. Mostly in very pleasurable ways, I don't mind saying. I do have a greater understanding of what a sinner I am and how God allows me to see the beauty in life through 3 little girls romping and playing mindlessly through life. They are so carefree and show a sense of peace. Life is short and we must embrace each moment we have to spend it with those we love and hate leaving behind when we pull out of the driveway (horn honking). My heart was so stinking heavy when I left them and began my trek homeward to Lansing. I asked God why? He has shown me when I looked over the past blogs, you posted since being off fb. I need to stay in daily contact with those I love and enjoy time with my children who are truly walking and learning God's word and wishes for us all. Steph, thanks so much for the beautiful time with you and your family, including our super bowl guest. I did enjoy our conversation and insight from another view point. It all makes perfect sense to me today. I love you more than words and will continue to pray for our babies each day. I know God has their little lives in his hands and we will continue to grow in love for his word and ways. My humanism really seems to get in the way of how I wish I could make everything perfect for all of us. Everything is as it should be and I will continue to trust and believe I am perfect in his sight. Katerbug is in great hands, she has a wonderful mommy and daddy who are teaching her all the right things in life. I thank God for loaning you to me for this life time. Thanks for being a willing participant in my life. Each of you bring me a smile and sense of peace. Thanks for being you. Always, your momma
ReplyDeletehi
ReplyDeletesteph!
I just wanted to thank you so much. Last week I started a blog. Not anything I had ever thought of doing before. I have had it with fb and the drama.Way too many depressed lives are being waisted lol
I wanted to invite you to my blog for moms!! :)
www.craftyfloridafrugalmomma.blogspot.com/